Hi. I'm Jacki

I write a lifestyle blog for Gen X women who are ready to say YES to (mid)life & become what they might have been.

When the moon offered me wonder

When the moon offered me wonder

I stepped outside in my slipper and robe, chilled by a mild January morning. The sun wasn't up yet, but that was the point. To go out into the darkness of early morning to witness the eclipse of a super blue moon.

Luna (the name stuck thanks to Bear in the Big Blue House) has always felt magical. But it had been a long time since I made an effort to visit with her. Over the last couple years I'd notice her on drives to work or home. I'd say a quick, "Hi Luna" with a jaunty wave. That was the extent of our relationship.

But the morning of the eclipse, I craved her presence, like an old friend who I haven't seen in years but knows all my dark secrets and still loves me. I stood in my backyard and just watched her. I let her light in and I felt awe and wonder. Ineffable. That's word used to described a spiritual experience. A word to describe the indescribable. 

Never once in my life did I ask God for success or wisdom or power or fame. I asked for wonder, and he gave it to me.
— Abraham Joshua Heschel

Awe and wonder don't do the feelings justice, but I think you get the point. Shear amazement that something so beautiful exists, even in this turbulent time. Humility that it existed long before me and will go on long after.

I felt small. Not in an insignificant way. Instead that smallness made me feel like a piece of the larger, greater whole. And that made me feel loved, worthy, and significant.

Under the cool, fading light, I felt joy and sadness, hope and devastation, love and apathy. It all filled me up and split me open.

Luna, on that morning, re-gifted me WONDER.

Do you remember that feeling? It's pretty common in childhood, a soulmate to Curiosity. They go hand-in-hand as we discover our world. They often partner up with Delight. As we get older and more practical, wonder fades and curiosity becomes a tool to get ahead, to be successful.

For the two days after the eclipse, Luna remained unobstructed in the early morning sky. She rode shotgun as I drove to work, sharing the sky with Ray. I opened my hear to quiet conversation with her, ones that never reached my practical, conscious mind.

If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.
— The Gospel of Thomas

She opened me up to synchronicity, to messages I needed to hear. I heard Thomas Moore talk with Oprah about the spiritual power of looking up. I listened to Mastin Kipp recite from the Gospel of Thomas.

I ended January with a plan to embody abundance, connection, courage, and well-being in 2018. But Luna tapped me on the shoulder and whispered, "Don't forget Wonder."

Thank you, Luna, for the reminder.

Friday Finds #15

Friday Finds #15

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